The bittersweet truth about “toxic people” is that although their actions are their own, we have full power in controlling how we react to them. Having full control over your emotions is challenging but also very rewarding. However, when it comes down to realizing our own responsibility, it is essential that we continue to retain our power than handing it over to others.
The first step to dealing with a “toxic person” is to figure out what your issue is. Most challenging individuals either trigger us or mirror us. In order to move steadily past the feeling of being victimized or hurt, one must categorize this person into either categories, trigger or mirror.
Do they trigger you?
Dedicating time to understanding your personal triggers means the more likely you are to no longer succumb to being victimized or disempowered by another’s presence. Once these triggers begin it will become easier to identify it and deal with yourself. While identifying trigger, you will realize how powerful you’ve become. Handling yourself will become easier.
Do they mirror you?
Its evident that the people we come down hard on our the ones that remind us of our exact self. It makes perfect sense. We spend so much time with ourselves that we are constantly second guessing our choices and tryingto fix various aspects of who we are. When we experience similarities with someone, we are just as hard on them as we are on ourselves. These individuals come off as difficult, but in actuality – looking in a mirror is just difficult for many.
Making rules for yourself doesn’t always have to be an announcement. You can simply declare boundaries for yourself by not spending a significant amount of time with a person. One thing for certain is that, depending on your environment, sticking to necessary conversations in working relationships is important. Let your actions speak for you and continue to be honest if the situation calls for it.